AoC Outtakes, Future Shots, and Random Stuff
by littlesecret84
Summary: Outtakes, future shots, and fun I've had with Bella and Edward from Age of Consent.
1. White

**Welcome back crazy people who decided to click on this link. I'm posting a few outtakes and future-shots here from AoC. Thank you for reading and let me know what you think.**

**This is an AoC future-shot written for my dear friend Snshyne who was the highest bidder in my FGB auction. I'd like to thank her for bidding on me and helping to raise money for a great cause. **

**Some of you will think this is very OOC for Edward and Bella, but remember - they are young and just experimenting. There is hardcore ****DRUG USE**** and graphic sex in this f/s. Do not continue if this makes you uncomfortable. You have been warned. I don't want reviews telling me "AoC Edward and Bella would never…" **

**They just did.**

**Cocaine is a helluva drug. Don't try this at home, kids.**

***I do not own Twilight or any of these characters***

Edward

"Let's go home, I wanna go home."

Bella's hands are on my chest, then go down, down, until she is touching the one part of me that seems to be making all my important life decisions lately. I contemplate taking her home now but I'm having too much fun with her here. The music is loud, she is pretty drunk, up against a wall, and I think she thinks she's dancing but it's more like a slow dry-hump now and I'm pretty sure I can never get enough of this. I'm not that sober myself, but Bella is trashed. We started the evening off at the apartment with my sister and Emmett drinking champagne to celebrate the news of Rose's pregnancy, and dealing with the scowl Rose's face, brought on by the fact that she couldn't join our celebration. Bella and champagne don't mix well, so by the time we got here for her friend's birthday she was adorably tipsy. Two vodka tonics and a shot of tequila later, my lightweight fiancée is incredibly horny, slurring her words, rubbing up against me and being her usual obnoxious self. I love it. I love her. I love that she is finally twenty-one and wants to go out every other night and drags me with her every single time. How could I ever say no? Just one more activity to add to the many things we enjoy doing together. Who knew she'd be into clubs and partying? I didn't, and I don't think she did either. I love discovering new things about Bella as she grows up, and I want to be there for every new experience.

Her hand is on my cock, over my jeans, and I laugh when I try to remove it but she swats my hand away. Narrowing her eyes, she gives me a warning and attacks my mouth. I am still laughing as we begin to kiss, my hands flat against the wall on either side of her head. She tries to play with my zipper and I finally put a stop to things, turning to make sure no one is watching. Some asshole sitting a few feet away from us winks at me and laughs, giving me a thumbs-up. Fucker. I go back and forth between letting Bella do what she wants, and taking her home, away from voyeurs and random strangers at the club. I decide home is best until she whispers a few words into my ear.

"Guess what Garrett brought over? I wanna try tonight."

I have to get her drunker than I had planned. Drunk enough to make her forget about the white stuff I found in her underwear drawer earlier, but didn't want to comment on while Rose and Emmett were over. Then I can flush that shit down the toilet. Fuck Garrett, fuck the money she spent on it.

"I think we should stay here and dance, baby," I whisper into her neck.

"Nooo…" she whines, "home. You can put it anywhere tonight."

Oh sweetheart, I can put it anywhere any night. All it takes is some kisses and some touching, a few words. The only thing going anywhere tonight is you, to bed, under the covers, in my arms. I'll have your greasy breakfast sandwich ready first thing in the morning when you wake up. Let's just go home now, before I let you give me a hand job in the middle of a club. Because I want you to. Your hand belongs on my cock.

Her tongue is on my neck, moving up to my ear. Her teeth are sharp, but her lips are like velvet. Her breath is warm and she makes me dizzy. I push her against the wall and kiss her, thinking about getting her into a cab and then getting my fingers inside Bella, possibly making her come before the cab stops in front of our building. She's so good. I'll tell her to be quiet, and she will sink her teeth into my shoulder and bite down as my fingers fuck her. Tiny whimpers and gasps for my ears only. I'll touch her twice, three times where she likes it the most and her body will go crazy, and she'll say my name at least once, maybe twice, and that angelic smile will take over her face and I'll fall a little more in love with her than I already am.

All of this happens, minus the silence part, and I leave a big tip to the guy who had to listen to all of that – not that he looks annoyed at all. We walk up to the apartment and Bella is all giggles and touches, throwing her coat onto the counter and taking off her top the second we are inside. She throws herself backwards onto the bed and I stare at her for a while as I take off my pants. A minute later my mouth is on her stomach, belly, my hands are on her breasts, and I look up to see Bella, passed out, with her mouth slightly open. I remove her jeans and bra for her and move her under the covers.

Looking for something to do, I eye the half empty bottle of champagne and decide to pour myself a glass. A few sips later I realize this isn't what I am in the mood for tonight, and check to see if there is anything left for me to smoke in Bella's little drawer of fun. I am very lucky. I take out Summer the bong and what's left of the weed we had delivered a few weeks ago, looking for a lighter to use amongst all the things Bella keeps in here. I pray no one ever opens this drawer. I also pray we can use whatever the fuck these things are because they look like they go on nipples and anything that allows me to spend more time with her nipples must be amazing and therefore must be used immediately.

Before I close the drawer I notice the butterfly thing she loves. We don't use that often enough.

Great. Now I'm horny, she's asleep, and I can't find a fucking lighter.

No sex.

No weed.

How did such a promising night turn into _this_?

I take Summer out anyway, setting her on the coffee table while I continue my search for a lighter. I finally find one, and five minutes later I take my first hit, having made sure that the window is cracked open just a little. I turn on the TV but can't hear a thing because I don't want to wake up Bella. It's pretty boring so I find last week's _New Yorker_ and start reading an article about a former dictator who was fucking crazy, and I'm pretty sure they wrote about this same guy a few years ago. It's interesting, so whatever. As I reach out for Summer again I hear some noise coming from the bed. I look up to see Bella, who has escaped from under the covers and is staring at me with an angry look on her face.

"Are you using Summer without me?!"

I look down at the yellow bong in my hand and shrug.

"B, you were asleep."

"Summer is mine. You bought her for me. I want some too," she snaps. A second later she is on the couch with me, grabbing Summer and pointing to the lighter.

I know what she wants.

Bella is afraid of lighters. And fire. I have to do this every time. She climbs onto my lap and grabs Summer. I watch her inhale and love the smile on her face as she passes it back to me. I don't know what I'm doing because I am watching her, watching the way her mouth moves as she speaks, the way the cool air makes her nipples extra hard. I hand it back to her and she takes one more hit –knowing Bella, her last one - before pushing the bong away.

"What did you do, Edward? Did you get the weed wet?"

"What? No! I didn't."

"I have some more in the drawer, I'll go get it."

I hold onto her before she can get up.

"That's what we're smoking now. Relax. Would you like something to drink instead?"

She shakes her head and her eyes open really wide.

"You were looking through my stuff?! Nooo, baby I had a surprise for you in there."

I laugh and kiss her cheek. "I loved the surprise. We'll use it soon."

Before she can respond I throw her back onto the couch and tell her to touch herself. I just want to watch now, and Bella can put on quite the show. My face is inches away from her pussy and fingers, and I'm mesmerized watching them go up and down and in and out. I dip my own fingers into the champagne and slide them over her clit, pulling Bella's hand away so that I can taste her, and she tastes fantastic – Bella, alcohol, some of me from earlier this evening. I want to bathe her in the overpriced shit we bought from the store across the street, lick it off her nipples, drink it from her bellybutton. I know we are probably going to ruin the couch so I move us to the bed and make these fantasies come true. Sheets can be washed – tonight it looks like my fiancée is up for just about anything.

"Do you want my ass tonight?"

_See?_

I'm too busy playing with her tits to answer.

"Tell me what you want. I want to make you come a lot. All over me."

"Oh yeah?" I ask, finally inside her. "All over you where? On your tits? Your ass? Where do you want it Bella?"

"Everywhere. My mouth too," she pants.

I'm moving inside her slowly, she is impatient and moves under me, spreading her legs wider, holding me closer. Her hands are on my ass, her nails digging, scratching. A finger moves and presses up against me and I want to come immediately. I have to stop for a second as it barely enters me, and when I start fucking her again, it's harder, a little quicker.

"Mouth too? So after I fuck you now and make you come are you gonna let me pull out and come in your mouth?"

"Yes."

"Say please, Bella."

"Please. Yes. Yes."

She becomes incoherent, her body is shaking under mine. She tries to protest when I pull out because I know she likes to feel me inside her for a while after she comes, but I told her what I want, and her mouth is warm and perfect, her eyes are so big.

Bella climbs on top of me a few minutes later. I am about to fall asleep when she starts talking.

"I love you, Edward."

"What's up, princess?"

She rolls her eyes at that and smiles. "You know you promised me something…"

"And you want to do it tonight," I sigh.

"Yeah… You keep putting it off."

"Bella, it's two in the morning. We've had a long night, if we do that we'll be up all night."

"Exactly, it's two in the morning, and tomorrow's Sunday. Just this once?"

"Why do you want to try this so badly?"

"I'm curious. Haven't you ever been curious? I know you've tried it before, and I know you've done it more than once. I promise it's just this once."

Her eyes are huge and her lips are warm on my chest. When she first brought this up I shrugged and told her we can do whatever she wants, and warned her against contacting anyone or buying anything on her own. I didn't think she would actually go ahead and ask her friend to hook her up. I have no idea where this fascination with drugs comes from, although I do understand her curiosity. We have all experimented with different things, it is part of growing up, and I appreciate the fact that she will only do it with me around. I'm still a little uncomfortable having it in our apartment and hope this isn't a regular occurrence. I can't tell her what to do, but I can tell her that I won't live with or date someone who does this sorta thing on a regular basis.

Knowing Bella, this is a one-time thing and I have nothing to worry about.

"Fine… sure. Errrm… we need a flat surface. And shit, do we have straws?"

"No, I don't think we do. In the movies they use money. Like a dollar bill?"

I laugh and place a kiss on the top of her head. "Ok, I've got some in my pocket, go find a suitable one. And maybe a mirror or something?"

"Will a book do?"

"I suppose… hardcover."

My dream girl slides off the bed and finds my pants on the floor, going through the pockets in search of money. The view I have of her ass is incredible.

"Obvi. Edward, are we really using a dollar bill? I think we'd score major pimp points if we use a rolled up hundred. Uch, you only have a fifty. I suppose it will have to do."

"Bella, put that away. I want to spend that money at some point."

She does the flirty thing where she looks at me through her lashes but it doesn't work. Bella puts the fifty dollar bill back in my pocket, pouting.

"Baby don't pout. I'm sorry you're engaged to me and not a rapper or rockstar."

"Ugh, I know. I ask myself why every day. This doesn't help!" She exclaims, waving the dollar bill around and shaking her head.

When everything is ready Bella is sitting between my legs on the bed with a gigantic Leonardo da Vinci coffee table book on her knees. She wants to do everything on her own so she has a webpage open on the laptop lying next to us on the bed, and I have my hands on her waist as she bends forward a little, pushes her hair back behind her ears, and carefully following the instructions, snorts her first line. My heart is beating erratically in my chest. I'm worried, I'm a little turned on. She turns to face me and wiggles her nose. I ask her if she got it all, she nods.

"So what's supposed to happen?"

"Well, it'll kick in soon enough," I explain. I kiss her shoulder and she relaxes against me. Her ass meets my cock and I'm getting hard again. She pushes back and smiles. It's the same smile that has been making me melt for years now. The smile I have memorized, fantasized about when far away from her. The smile I fell in love with. I kiss it and hold her to me, very carefully removing the book from her lap and placing it beside us on the bed.

"Your turn."

"I'm not sure I want to," I shrug.

"Your. Turn."

Her hand is on my cock and her mouth is on my neck. What's a little bit going to do? It will be fun. Just one line.

I tell myself to stop thinking and before I know it Bella is lying on her back, and I'm actually snorting a line from between my fiancée's breasts. Have I mentioned how hot she is? Have I mentioned how perfect her tits are? How obsessed I am with her adventurous, crazy side? How much I adore her brain? Do I talk enough about how she makes my heart beat like crazy when she is telling an interesting story just because of the way she looks and the way her hands move and the way her smile takes over her face? And I want to feel like a dick right now for what I'm doing, and I want to get rid of the drugs and just hold her and go to sleep, take care of her when she is hung over tomorrow, but the insatiable, animalistic side of me wants more of this, whatever it is. I want to lose myself with her and then fuck her until she can't walk tomorrow. Sometimes that's ok, and I tell myself that when twenty minutes later I have her pinned to the bed, sloppily doing another line off her thigh, and rubbing a tiny bit of coke over her clit.

She talks fast and is very excited. I'm already insanely hard and her mouth drops open when she comments on how stiff I am. She had a moment where she was completely grossed out by the residue she tasted at the back of her throat and she also had a minor freak-out because her heart was beating so hard and fast, but overall she says she likes it, and she wants me, and I just want us to go crazy. I've never wanted to pound her this hard, control her body like I do now. She laughs when she hears me grind my teeth, which is something I have noticed before. She pushes me back and does her second and final line of the night off my stomach.

"I don't know if I like this. I like how I feel, but it's kinda nasty. Why did you rub it on me? It tingles. I almost feel numb. It feels funny but sorta good. Fuck me now?"

"Sit on me, B. I want to watch you."

Bella is stunning as she rides me. The way her tits bounce, her face when I press a finger to her clit and rub. Not something I usually do, but sometimes I want her to come fast and hard and she does. I thrust up and try not to freak out about the way my heart is pounding and how I'm convinced that I'm about to have a heart attack. Because I kind of like this, and she feels amazing, and I can do this forever. No one makes Bella feel like this. Just me. I get to flip her over and do it all over again, I get to smack her ass as she comes for a second time. I get to tell her what to do and fuck her as she complies. Because she'll do just about anything for me, and right now Bella is like the Energizer Bunny, and she is begging me to fuck her harder and faster.

Her sighs and gasps turn into cries and screams. She has never ridden me this forcefully. When she is on her knees holding onto the headboard she throws her head back and keeps telling me I'm not fucking her hard enough, deep enough. I love the sounds of our flesh slapping together. I want her to scream louder. I grab her hips and show her just how hard and fast I can go, and when I can't take any more I collapse on top of her and then turn her around, staring into her eyes, loving the way we are breathing into each others' mouths, the way both our hearts are banging in our chests.

"What the fuck was that?"

For a second I feel like the world has come to an end. She's pissed. I hurt her. I treated her like shit. She won't forgive me.

"Bella I'm sor – "

"I'm mean omg, that was pretty crazy. You were… wow. What _was _that? I think my vagina hurts. Ugh but it still loves your penis. Is he ok? Is he like, exhausted? I, wow. I need to catch my breath. It was… awesome. Like everything was heightened. It felt so good. I wanted you to be rougher but oh my god, at the end I don't think I could take anymore. I think you bruised me, we'll see soon enough. Can we take pictures if you managed to leave marks on my hips? Baby, your cock. I'm so tingly now. I feel everything everywhere and I – shit. My heart won't stop… I felt yours too. It was so hot. See? Look. Put your hand here. Yeah, oh my god, so fast, right? It's beating like it did when I first met you and I was nervous being around you, but like non-stop and I love it. Edward, you drive me crazy. I think I came like three times. More? I don't even know. I love it when you spank me. I usually love it when you do that while you're in my ass, but that was so awesome. Can we go again? I want more. Ugh my head…"

Bella goes on and on. She is adorable, crazy, hilarious. When we both start coming down I have to stop her from calling my father because she is convinced that she is dying. Always the drama queen. I feel like shit too, but I try to keep it together because I want her to be ok. Her head hurts, I make her drink lots of water, I give her some Tylenol and Vitamin C. I take some too, because I don't feel that great myself. She becomes very quiet, asks me to give her some Ambien so that she can sleep. I ignore her. When she starts getting upset I tell her it's ok and do my best to make her feel decent. I feel it everywhere myself. Depressed. Feeling like crap. It's early morning by the time she falls asleep and I clean up the mess we made, tuck her in, and hope she is ok when she finally wakes up.

***

"WHAT. THE. FUCK."

My head. My eyes. My everything.

Someone please come and put me out of my misery.

I crack open an eye and am horrified at the sight before me. Bella is a mess. Her hair, the smudged makeup, and the bruises covering her body. She looks pissed. Beyond pissed. She points at the bruises and keeps screaming at me until I decide to tune her out and bury my head under a pillow. But she is so fucking loud. Next thing I know, she is on top of me, pulling the pillow off and grabbing my hair.

"Look at me when I talk to you, Cullen. What is this? Are you CRAZY?"

"You weren't complaining last night. You wanted to take pictures of it."

"Yes. Yes I'm going to take pictures. And if you ever fuck up again, or decide to leave me I'm taking it down to the station and reporting your ass. What the fuck?!"

"You wanted rough sex, B. You got it. You wanted to try hard drugs, you did that too."

I say these words, but I don't mean them. She didn't ask for this. She didn't ask to be treated like an animal, tossed around and hurt. I want to kiss every single bruise and mark that covers her skin. I want to apologize for as long as it takes until she truly forgives me. I sit up and take her into my arms as she starts crying quietly.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"No, no. You're right. I loved it last night. I was just…shocked. I expected to find it erotic but it is so scary. Look at me."

"Baby I got carried away, I apologize – "

"It wasn't just you. I asked for it. This… this isn't us. It was awesome but not again. Please? I know you loved it, but…"

"B, if it involves you, I love it. I can't not love it. But we don't ever have to do this again. Just this once, right? No more. It's not worth seeing you like this, or like how you were last night. It felt like shit. We don't need this."

She nods, the cheeks wet from the tears. "We don't. Just you… I'm sorry I made you do anything."

I kiss her nose and she smiles. I find a hair tie on the bedside table and smooth her hair back, gathering it up in a ponytail. I walk Bella to the bathroom and wrap my arms around her, kissing her shoulders as she removes the rest of her makeup and washes her face. I give her a bath, bring her water to drink and order some food. Some more Tylenol because she is still complaining of a headache; and a little neck massage because I love her.

The Bella who walks out of the bathroom forty minutes later looks very different. She still looks tired, but much better than she did earlier. She snuggles up against me in her robe and lets me feed her, and in turn takes care of me when I let it slip that I am tired and feeling out of it as well. My head is in her lap and she plays with my hair, talks to me in hushed tones and loves me until I fall asleep. When I wake up the apartment smells great and I see that she has been cooking. Bella drags me to the shower and when I beg her to join me she does. We kiss and touch and promise each other that from now on Summer is the only thing we'll use. I'm in her mouth and can't believe my penis isn't falling off from exhaustion. My girl is eager, playful, sexy, kind. She also makes delicious meatballs and although she opposes it, she uses some veal for me. We eat together and she thanks me for last night. I don't want her to, but I know what she means. She knows that I'd never let her do anything like that alone, and that if she has anything negative or painful to deal with I will be there, no questions asked. I don't care if she got herself into the situation, that doesn't matter. I just can't stand to see her unhappy, scared, uncomfortable, or in pain.

I want to thank her for allowing me to be there and take care of her. Years ago, it was all I asked – that if she wanted to try certain things she should let me be there and make sure it goes well. I am willing to do just about anything with Bella, for Bella. I'm just very thankful for the fact that she didn't go ahead and do this while she was away, or with friends from school. She came to me, she shared it with me. It's all I could ever ask for.

"Oh, so your mom called while you were asleep and wanted to know if we're going be in Forks for Christmas."

"I thought we were spending Christmas here alone," I answer.

"She wants us to go there and check out some stuff…"

She avoids looking straight at me and blushes. I don't know why this conversation continues to freak her out. I don't like that it makes her uncomfortable. I'm constantly terrified that she will change her mind. But I refuse to show this and try to appear calm.

"Stuff? Like what?"

"Like… food options and I don't know… I said we can just eat whatever, you know? We barely have thirty guests." She plays with her spaghetti, moving it around on her plate.

"Well, I agree but it would make it easier on everyone to just have it catered."

She nods and smiles. "You're right, Edward. I just don't want to make a big deal out of it."

I reach out and grab her hand.

"No big deal. It's too early to think about the details anyway."

You don't have to do a thing. Just be there that day and look beautiful and be mine.

"Yeah but, it's November and… it's only seven months away," she says.

"Seven months is plenty. Don't freak out. We'll visit eventually. If I can't go, you'll go on your own. If you're too busy with school, I can go. We'll figure out the food and all the other stuff. You can find a dress and – "

"I have a dress."

I look up into her eyes and notice that I dropped my fork.

"You what?"

"It's at Rosalie's. We found it a few weeks ago. It's… vintage and very simple, but pretty. I don't know if you'll like it and I'm a little nervous and – "

She keeps talking about the fucking dress until I'm off my chair and by her side, picking her up to kiss her. Why a simple dress excites me so much I'm not sure, but after all the craziness of last night and this morning it's like a reminder of our relationship apart from all of this. Clubs, drugs, wild sex aside, we are in love and we're getting married in a few months. And the girl who was terrified of marriage went and bought her dress on her own, no nagging or persuasion necessary. I have no doubt that even if we spend the next seven months doing equally stupid things like we did last night we will be fine, and she'll wear the dress, and she'll look beautiful, and everything will be alright.

**Thank you WriteOnTime and Kassiah for helping me with this. It means a lot to me. And thank you Snshyne for the fun prompts and for making me write about these two again. I hope you like it :)**


	2. Red tights, blue Mary Janes

**Hello!  
So this is my 2****nd**** FGB auction piece. Arfalcon, one of the sweetest, kindest people I have met in the fandom asked me to write about Bella and Edward where Bella is all grown up. She gave me some great ideas, and said she would be interested in reading about Bella in her late twenties. So… this is what I came up with. I hope you guys enjoy it. Let me know what you think by leaving me a review!**

**I'd like to thank Arfalcon for giving me the opportunity to write something I otherwise would have been too scared to touch. And as always, thank you to my wonderful beta, WriteOnTime. **

***I do not own Twilight or any of these characters***

Bella

"Bella Cullen," I bark into my phone for the third time. It's late, and I'm not sure who is calling me from Wisconsin, but I'm fairly certain that they aren't looking for me.

I hang up.

Why can't people just say "sorry, wrong number" anymore? Is it wrong of me to get so upset? I was just on the train, dragging my tired butt from campus all the way down to Christopher Street, and the last thing I need is my phone ringing the second I get out of the station. I'm just tired. Really tired. Why did I agree to move down here? Or rather, why did I force Edward to get a place down here? It's too far, but I love the parks, and the quiet streets are perfect. Right? Ugh.

I pass by the CVS and notice that it's already closed, but I think I have everything I need. My laptop is in my bag, so are the last couple of papers I have to look at. I've got the books from the library and the travel toothbrushes Edward asked for. Why we can't take our own, I'll never understand. So yeah, the travel toothbrushes, they were the only reason why I had to stop at CVS, which means we're good. It's already pretty late and I still have to pack a few things and make sure we don't forget anything. I know I'll forget something – this is inevitable. I just have to remember to pack at least one dress and one pair of heels. Edward is taking care of everything else. Thank God for Edward sometimes. Hopefully he's home already and I don't have to deal with anything else tonight.

The apartment is silent and dark when I finally get in. There are no dishes in the sink, no huge mess in the living room. Of course, there are some cups lying around but that's not a big deal. I pick them up and bring them to the kitchen, deciding to deal with them tomorrow, or when we get back. Just…not tonight. I've had a long day. Grading papers isn't fun, especially when you want to give everyone smiley faces and encouragement. But these are adults, in college, and if they fucked up it's their fault. And _boy_ did some of them fuck up. How hard can it be to read a book? And to get it? Am I doing that bad of a job? I suppose there will always be a few students who don't want to learn, and who don't care – even if their parents are spending exorbitant amounts of money on their tuitions. And Columbia is expensive. I know this! Thank God I don't have to pay a dime for grad school. And in another year, I won't have to worry about school at all. Just one more year working on this stupid thesis, teaching these freshman morons, and then I can do whatever I want.

Right?

Well, not really. How the fuck am I going to get a teaching position in New York City? It's not like we can just pack up and move. Our entire life is here. We have been living here for over ten years now. Edward is doing really well for himself and to be perfectly honest, with his new position I don't ever really have to work again. But I want to work, I love teaching… I think. Being a college professor is a pretty cool gig. I told myself it's what I wanted to do when I decided not to go to law school. I get to read and talk about things I love all day. And there are just enough awesome students who make it all worthwhile.

But it's not easy. Lots of people are walking around with from very prestigious schools. I'm just one more asshole working on her thesis and pretending to know a lot of things about stuff that really doesn't matter in the real world. But it matters to me.

Edward and I both know it's going to be hard for me to find something here. I have a nagging suspicion that he wouldn't mind if I sat around the apartment and wrote all day. I go back and forth between loving the idea and wanting to murder my husband for wanting to take care of me and keep me locked up like that. Not that he'd need to lock me up anywhere… everything I cherish is in this apartment.

I walk towards our bedroom, itching to take off my jeans and t-shirt. It's too warm for jeans, but I didn't feel like wearing a skirt this morning. It's only ten o'clock, so I'm surprised to see that Edward is in bed already. I wanted to talk to him about a few things concerning the trip but if he's tired and sleepy, it can wait. There's something else I need to do first, anyway. Just as I'm about to walk back out into the hallway, I hear his voice.

"Come to bed, but be quiet," he whispers.

My heart does a little dance when I look more carefully at our bed. Before I can take off my clothes I climb onto my side of the bed and bury my face in the soft, soft hair resting on my pillow.

"Careful, you don't want to wake her up."

I nod, and smile when his hand finds mine. We play with a small braid for a second, before he takes my fingers and brings them to his lips.

"I couldn't say no. She begged me," he explains.

"It's ok. I miss her. I'm glad she's here."

"Can you spell c-o-c-k-b-l-"

"Shut it! You never stood a chance… I would have spent the night kissing her little arms and legs anyway."

"Ah, another night on Ilsa's floor. We should just put an aerobed there for us."

"Whatever, Edward. You know you love it. She's your favorite girl."

He squeezes my fingers before returning his hand to our daughter's head. "She's cute, but you're my favorite girl. Wanna take her back to her room?"

"Do you?"

"No, I've missed her too."

She doesn't wake up even though we attack her with hundreds of kisses. Sometimes I miss her so much it hurts, so when I finally get a chance to hold her I can't let go. I have to fight my husband off to get enough time with her, because he is equally smitten. In fact, I think he is crazier about her than I am, if that's possible. Ilsa is his world. I've given Edward everything I could possibly give him, but I think this has been the greatest gift of all. Not just for him, but me too. The almost-three year old in our bed makes everything worth it. Everything is infinitely better.

Things haven't been easy. We lived in our tiny bubble for so long that the second Ilsa came into our lives everything exploded. The first three months were bliss. I thought a baby would be weird, I was terrified that I wouldn't love her like you're supposed to love your kid. I was so wrong. You couldn't snatch her away from me for a second. I had to set special hours for the grandparents, the aunts and uncles to visit because I wanted every second of the day to be just us. I wanted to be with her all day, every second. Edward was right there by my side. I made him happy, never letting him forget that I was the same girl he met years ago and married, spending every second Ilsa was asleep reminding him of us. I was tired, I was pretty emotional and a little crazy, but I was also terrified that he wouldn't find me attractive, with leaky nipples and huge hips and a belly. I worked out like crazy, I put my mouth to great use waiting to be told that I was allowed to sleep with him again, I obsessed over everything Ilsa did and made sure everything was perfect. I wrote because I refused to stop writing. Then, at the end of those three months, Edward had some news for me.

He had to leave.

Again.

Who was I to say no? To tell him to stay? His job is what kept us living in an awesome three bedroom in the far West Village. His job bought us our clothes, food, vacations, all the fun things I kept buying for Ilsa – including three different strollers, a ridiculous amount of toys and swings and bouncers and outfits. So I smiled and told him it would be a great opportunity. A new position! No more stupid law firm! Plus it was just three weeks. What's three weeks? I told him to go, I told him not to worry. I was busy anyway, and he needed a break from the craziness going on at home. Carlisle moved in to help, since Esme was staying with Rose and helping her with their THREE kids, the youngest just a month older than Ilsa.

Terrible idea.

The minute he was gone something snapped in my head. Did my husband just leave me with a three-month old to work out of the London office for three weeks? THREE WEEKS? Do you have any idea what taking care of an infant is like without the other half of the team? Because Edward can be annoying, needy, stubborn, and difficult but he was the other half of my team. He never let me do anything on my own. In fact, he would always ask for more to do because he knew I was terrified that I couldn't handle it. And then poof. Gone.

Carlisle was awesome, but I couldn't get him to wake up in the middle of the night. He was there to play with and feed Ilsa from time to time. He would give me time to nap and run errands, but that's all, and could I really ask for more? Probably, but that wouldn't have been nice of me. The minute I realized Edward was gone I was in full bitch mode. After the first four days I couldn't even look at my baby anymore. I stopped calling Edward, Skype sessions were a thing of the past. He was probably upset but I didn't know because I refused to pick up the phone. Promises of sending dozens of pictures a day and letting him watch his daughter on cam were broken. He didn't get a single picture, at least not from me. But it's not like he said anything, so I let it go on for two weeks. He stopped calling back and I'd hear Carlisle talk to him every night, fighting back my tears. Since the day I met Edward almost ten years earlier, I had never gone more than a day or two without hearing his voice, or reading his words to me.

Finally, Carlisle took Ilsa from my arms, threw some clothes at me and told me to go find my husband in London. I ached for her the entire way to London. I was a mess. When Edward opened the door to his room he had to practically carry me to the bed because I couldn't walk anymore. He let me cry, and cry. He wasn't happy with me, but he was kind. After an entire evening like that, however, the silence killed me. He went to work and came back with food, but barely acknowledged my presence. For the first time in our relationship he ignored me, and I felt unloved. I imagined a life without him and thought I was going to die. What was I doing there, away from my kid, with a man who wouldn't even look at me? I thought maybe everything was a mistake, and that the decision I had made to go off the pill a year before was the stupidest thing ever.

The next day was a Sunday. He had nowhere to go. I tried talking to him and he was polite, but cold. I forced myself onto his lap while he read his book, grabbing his arm and placing it around my waist. He didn't push me away, but after about twenty minutes I gave up and walked to the bathroom to cry some more. My phone rang as I was walking back out and I almost didn't want to answer it because it was Carlisle. Suddenly I remembered where he was and who he was with and my heart was about to explode, I was so worried. There was nothing to worry about, however, and Carlisle just told me to turn on the computer.

I sat on the bed and logged into my Skype account, waiting for Carlisle to come online. A few seconds later there she was, her big brown eyes smiling at me, all the little fingers and chubby thighs. I reached out, wanting to touch her, and almost didn't feel the warm body beside me. But he was there, and he was laughing with me, holding me, watching his father hold our daughter in his arms.

"We made her B," he said.

And we spent the afternoon looking at pictures and talking about her, his eyes shining every time I mentioned something new, or said her name. Five days later we were back home together and slowly went back to being Edward and Bella, but better.

Edward's hand on my hip snaps me out of my little trip down memory lane.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing, you should sleep. Early flight, baby." I like how his hand feels on me. I'm so tired, and I miss him so much.

"Let's just watch her in a super creepy way," I whisper.

"It's not creepy, she's our kid."

"Well, I haven't seen our kid in over twelve hours. Did you pay Lauren extra like I told you to?"

"Of course, she's a nice girl, but she needs to stop eating all our brownies. She could lose thirty pounds."

"Stop being a dick. Lauren is lovely. And she treats Ilsa so well."

Edward laughs. "You'd know. How many cams do we have installed in this apartment?"

"Shut up. It's necessary," I snap.

"Hey, I agree. But the one in Ilsa's bear is a little ridiculous."

"Edward, she drags that thing everywhere. How do I know what's going on at the park? Or wherever?"

"Umm, trust Lauren maybe?"

"I do now! Because the cameras told me to."

This shuts him up and I get up to take off my clothes. Since Ilsa is here I have to find something decent to put on. Edward's boxers should do, as well as an old tank, and minutes later I'm holding my baby again, nervous about our flight to Forks tomorrow, but excited to be celebrating two birthdays.

Edward and Ilsa are turning thirty-nine and three, respectively this week. He's so old. She's old too. I don't want her to grow anymore. I like my little doll. My brain keeps calculating ages and years, trying to figure out what happened when, trying to forget that I'm going to turn thirty in a few months. At some point it just gives up and I fall asleep holding her tight against me, making sure that I am touching Edward in some way the entire time.

***

"Bella, move it. We're ready to go and you're still in bed."

Ugh.

I'm not in bed, asshole. I'm in the bathroom getting ready. You are off playing God knows what with your kid instead of hanging out in bed with me.

I look at myself in the mirror and I like what I see. My hair is really long now. I had it cut a few years back and I swear Edward looked like I had just declared an end to blow jobs forever. He was heartbroken, and did a bad job of hiding it. He just doesn't like bobs, no matter how hot his wife looks with one. So now we're back to super long hair, and I'm putting it up for the flight. I make two small braids and wrap them around my head, and it looks really cute. No makeup other than some mascara, a short hoodie dress in white that Ilsa better not mess up. I look good. I feel good. I have to go see what he's done to our kid this morning.

I walk into our bedroom and see him sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling on his socks. Ugh he looks good. I'm not sure where Ilsa is right now but I think it's a good time to give Edward a kiss. One of the long ones that make Ilsa cover her mouth with her hand and close her eyes.

"You look nice, beautiful. It's a little too warm here for that, but it's perfect for Forks."

"Kiss me before the kid comes back and ruins the moment."

He laughs and gives me the yummiest early morning kiss. We get a little carried away and I hear myself cry out when his tongue is on my throat and his hands are on my ass. One small push and he's lying on the bed and I'm on top of him. But now is not the time.

"Later. On the plane when she's asleep," I manage to say.

His breath on me feels so nice.

"On the plane? You'll be the first one to pass out."

"Whatever. Where is she?"

"In the kitchen. She's all ready to go."

I run my fingers through his hair, brushing my thumb over the grey that has settled along his temples, and bite down on his jaw before turning to walk out of the room.

"Oh Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Charlie and my dad are taking Ilsa fishing tomorrow. I want to spend the day with you."

"That's nice of them… What are we doing?"

"Fucking."

"Sounds fun." I hope he picks up on the sarcasm. But am I even being sarcastic? It _does_ sound fun.

"So yeah, just you and me after breakfast with the families."

"I can't wait, baby. I can't." I hope he knows that I mean it. I really can't wait.

"Bella, you really do look amazing."

"Why thank you. Stop with the flattery, you know you've got me, anytime, anywhere."

"So easy. Now go make sure the kid's not covered in shit."

The kid is adorable. Her pretty brown hair in two small braids and with her bangs covering her forehead. Red tights and the navy blue dress that Edward loves. She gives me a huge smile when she sees me and I wink at her. She winks back, but ends up closing and opening both her eyes. Ilsa is terribly shy, even with us sometimes. We hope she'll grow out of it, and Charlie assures us that she will, since he remembers me being incredibly shy at that age as well. She may have my coloring, but looks exactly like Edward. Lips, nose, jaw line, and poor kid – eyebrows. The thick brows are hot on daddy, but in a few years I'll be dealing with a pre-teen begging to get her eyebrows waxed.

"Ready to get on a plane?" I ask.

"Yeth."

"Excited for Forks?"

"Yeth."

"Who do you want to see the most? Grandpa Charlie, Grandpa Carlisle, or Grandma Esme?"

"All three."

"Come on, kid. Let's try this again. Who do you want to see the most?"

She shrugs and looks away. I decide to stop annoying my own child who looks like she's had enough of my nonsense this morning.

"Mommy?"

I'm always a little surprised when she initiates any conversations. I turn around and give her a big smile.

"Yeah?"

"Can I thleep with you and Daddy again tonight?"

"You have no choice in the matter, Ilsa. We're all sharing one giant bed tonight."

Edward's huge smile is on her face and it makes me so happy that she's this happy.

"Come on, go put on your shoes. Not those, the red ones," I say pointing to the red chucks by the door. But the kid has other ideas, and puts on the navy Mary Janes her father makes her wear all the time.

"Ah, want to make daddy happy, I see?"

She nods and giggles, disappearing down the hallway to her room, or ours to find her dad. I walk over to the table and clear it, finally washing the glasses that were out last night, as well as everything Edward and Ilsa used this morning. It's not much, and I have time to check my email and reply to some questions a student asked before going back to the room to find a dress to pack.

Edward is lying on the bed, talking to Ilsa in hushed tones. Her eyes are so big and round as she is staring at him, listening to every word he says.

"…and then I saw mommy standing there. She was very pretty. And she has brown eyes just like you."

"You have green eyes, daddy."

"You're so smart. I do have green eyes, but your eyes are prettier. Every time I look at you I see your mommy."

Ilsa looks like she's thinking hard about this and nods, looking back at me and giving me a shy smile.

"Alright you two, enough with the bonding and the little love affair you've got going on. I need to find a dress to pack. I'm thinking black. What do you think, kiddo? No? Yeah, I know you hate black. How about green? This one's cool, no? Ugh, you're killing me Ilsa! I need to go shopping with you, stat."

"Bella, I like that blue one you wore last week," Edward smiles.

I know why he's smiling. He liked the blue one last week after he basically tore it off me.

"Well I'd love to take the blue dress but someone ruined the strap."

"Oh sh- I'm sorry. Did I tear it?" His fake apology is just that. Fake. The gleam in his eye tells me he knows what he did and loved it.

"Yes, it's ruined."

"Why did you do that, daddy?" Oh Ilsa. She looks so upset. She loves her clothes, and mine. The kid knows how to rock a pair of designer jeans and Burberry trench.

"I didn't mean to do it. It was a mistake," Edward explains.

Ilsa looks at him, then at me, then at him again and does this thing with her nose like "yeah, I'm not buying this but I don't know what the fuck is going on."

Edward gets up and picks out a too-small-for-the-occasion white dress and carefully folds it before placing it on top of the rest of our clothes in the suitcase. Ilsa nods at the choice and smoothes away a wrinkle with her hand.

"I guess I need shoes to go with that… Edward, really? Platforms? It's dinner with the family. Put them back. The dress is short enough! Flats. The silver ones. Thank you baby girl, you found them. What do we do with shoes before we pack?"

She runs off and is back a few seconds later with a bag in her hand. My kid is awesome.

Well… not always. She throws temper tantrums sometimes that leave me screaming at the top of my lungs until she realizes I'm being louder than her and stops. I know it's not model parenting, screaming louder than your own kid to shut her up, but it works. Usually she ends up laughing at me. She's so weird. Also, Ilsa won't eat chicken or cold cuts or pasta. Who doesn't like pasta? And oh my God, and she lies. Through her teeth. She's so fucking good at it too, it takes me a second to catch her at it. Edward is blissfully ignorant of this fact and just smiles that dopey smile and plays with her hair all the time.

My favorite, though, is how she sits there with a book in her hand pretending to read. She can sit like that for hours, and sometimes she mimics her father and the way he goes on and on about certain subjects. It's pretty funny. Carlisle was here a few weeks ago and recorded some of this. I haven't had time to show Edward but I think he will love it.

Many hours later we are finally driving up to Charlie's house. It would be much more comfortable staying with Carlisle and Esme, but we don't get to see my father as often and I want him to be able to spend some time with his granddaughter. My old bed has been replaced with a gigantic one that is basically the size of my entire bedroom. This happened right before our wedding, and Edward and I were heartbroken. We loved my tiny bed and all the memories it held. I was screaming at my father when I saw this, but also adored him for giving us a place to come back to in his home. That was huge. The old bed Edward spent a night in years and years ago was gone, but Charlie's acceptance of us and everything that has happened since that warm summer night made this less sad.

Charlie ignores us for the first hour and hangs out with Ilsa instead. This isn't so bad, because it gives us time to argue about stuff that happened on the plane. Namely, how I pretended to be asleep during one of her tantrums, leaving Edward alone to deal with shit. It happens. And she actually listens to him and likes him. Sometimes I'm a third wheel in the Edward-Ilsa love fest. It's kinda gross to watch. Kinda. Because mostly it just makes me all sorts of warm and fuzzy inside.

So we argue for a while until it's time to take a shower and get ready for dinner. This means we must make up, because he instituted this stupid rule that we can't keep fighting if we are going out, or doing stuff separately, or for longer than a few hours. This doesn't mean I don't hate him after most of our fights, but at least we talk and that's a good thing. And if it's at night before going to bed we make up and I let him do dirty things to me because let's be real: I like it when he gets that way and he still makes me pant and act like a fool just like he did thirteen years ago when we met.

Thirteen years.

Let's not even think about that…

By the time we are both ready all is well again. I return from drying my hair in the bathroom to find Edward looking out the window he once climbed in through with a sad look on his face. When I ask him what's up he smiles immediately, and tells me it's time to leave. We grab our kid and my dad and make our way to a new restaurant Carlisle sort of likes. He says it doesn't suck, so I guess it will have to do since we're in Forks. I watch my father and daughter together in the backseat and can't fight the tremendous feeling of love that takes over me. Charlie catches me staring in the rearview mirror and winks, and I can't help but seek out my husband's hand to touch, to squeeze.

Edward

Jesus, Bella. It's time to shut up so that we can carry the kid to the car and make our way back to Charlie's. I'm tired, she fell asleep an hour ago in my arms. I haven't been able to enjoy my dessert, or drink anything since I'm driving. Emmett and my dad aren't going anywhere, they'll be here tomorrow since you clearly forgot that we had plans and decided to invite everyone over for dinner. That's just the icing on the cake after the longest day we've had in months.

My mother senses something and places a small hand on my arm. Poor mom, she looks tired too. My parents are not that young anymore, and late nights aren't their thing. But put Carlisle and Bella in a room together and they can go at it all night.

"Bella, so tell me – that poem you had published last month, was that about Edward here?" My father grins and winks at her. She blushes and plays with her hair. This only encourages him.

"That blush tells me you've got something to hide. I knew it, Bella. Writing about me, weren't you?"

No, it was about us. She wrote it last year after we decided to try for another kid. It certainly wasn't romantic or sweet, but you would think that if you didn't get her writing, dad. Whatever emotions that were consuming Bella back then helped her produce her best work, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to discuss it right now. The subject makes her tense, and she hates discussing her writing, especially the stuff that ends up getting published. I open my mouth to change the subject but she's got it covered.

"There has only ever been one Cullen for me, Carlisle. He's sitting right there with my reason for breathing in his arms. You had your chance to run away with me the minute you saw me thirteen years ago… too bad, so sad. Speaking of the two loves of my life, they look tired and cranky, I think it's time to head out."

"Bella, dear," my mother starts, "you should have seen your face when you saw Carlisle for the first time. You looked so conflicted."

We've heard this story so many times over the years, and it still causes my wife to blush and look away. I love to tease her about it, because it always ends with her telling me how desperate she was to have me when we first met, how she felt the first time we touched, kissed. Hearing those words from Bella gives me the reassurance I need to get through the everyday problems we face in our relationship. She is not an easy person to live with, she never has been. After the first few years of our marriage I realized how willing I used to be to overlook all her imperfections, her flaws. She is incredibly stubborn, and can be very selfish. She would pull stunts that would drive me to the brink of madness, like the time she decided to disappear for two weeks when I was working in London after Ilsa's birth. By that point in time I thought I was over it, over all the bullshit I had to deal with. I never showed her this, but she must have known, because the effort she put into our marriage and our family blew my mind. Starting from the moment we were back in New York something snapped inside her and she grew the fuck up. I had previously believed that this had happened when she told me she was ready to get pregnant, but evidently that was not the case. Whatever caused this change in her must have affected me as well, because I vowed then to never leave my family for any amount of time.

_Our_ family.

Because we are a family now, Bella, Ilsa and I. And as difficult as those times were, I wasn't going anywhere. I will never go anywhere. The main reason for my unhappiness was the fact that I was convinced I wasn't enough for her. Bella always wanted more, she always wanted different things. Silly things, mostly, but it made me feel inadequate nonetheless. And she was never easy to please, always coming up with reasons why we shouldn't buy an apartment, have a child, share a last name. About four years into our marriage I was convinced she married me because it was just something to do, and because she was afraid to lose me, or something. We were both very busy at that point in our lives, and barely got to see each other. I pushed all my doubts away because come on, it was Bella that we were talking about. She could do anything and I'd be at her feet, willing to do anything for her. And when she told me she wanted a baby, I was back to being as in love with her as I was the day she first touched my hand, wore my ring, wore the simple white dress. Those few months of doubt and depression were like a distant memory, gone. We threw ourselves into the whole parenting thing and it was wonderful, until I left. During those few weeks with no contact with Bella, I thought it was over. I honestly wanted nothing to do with her. When she appeared at my door in London I was shocked, surprised, a little annoyed. Who the fuck ignores their spouse for two weeks and then just waltzes in like nothing happened? I wanted to send her back, tell her to deal with her shit and then come back to see if we had anything to say to each other. But then we slept in the same bed that night, and nothing had ever felt so right. She cried in her sleep for hours and talked to me, in her dreams. I listened to her all night. When she finally ended up in my lap two days later I was about to break down and tell her I live for her, breathe for her, when she got up and walked away. I'd like to thank my father for that phone call, Ilsa for being so perfect, and my own resolve over those two days for making everything work out. At the end of the day, however, there was no doubt in my mind that I would find my way back to Bella. Just Bella. I couldn't live a day without her, no matter how difficult and ugly it got.

Charlie asks us to drop him off at Billy Black's on our way back and Bella and I sit in the car in silence, until she speaks.

"Your mother asked if we're trying again."

"Tell her it's none of her business," I say, immediately feeling irritated that she'd bring this up.

"I said we weren't."

"I guess you told her the truth, then."

"Well, yeah." Her voice cracks.

"Bella, we've been through this. Why are you getting upset over something you decided you didn't want?"

"I do…"

"B, you went back on the pill two months after – "

"We tried, it didn't happen. I'm not – "

"People try for years, Bella. Two months over a year ago doesn't count."

In fact, some would think it's a lame attempt at appeasing your husband, if not a horribly cruel joke.

"Well now is just not the time anyway. I need to find a job, this is serious. I need to get started on my career. Getting pregnant is not – "

"It's not your priority, I get it. That's fine. Then don't fucking talk about it. We'll discuss it again in a few years, but please don't bring it up and get all emotional over something you are not willing to do anything about."

"You are just… you're mean. Do you hear how your voice sounds? What did I do today? You were staring at me the entire time like I was your enemy, like you wanted me dead. You looked _happy _when you told your dad I didn't get the job at the magazine. I don't get it. What did I do?"

"I'm just in a bad mood."

I also might have done something very stupid. We'll know tomorrow, judging by your reaction once you find out what I did.

"No, Edward. Tell me."

Her persistence and the fact that she brought up an issue that I don't like to discuss annoy me enough to make me let it all out.

"Bella, let it go. You decided to ignore your child all the way to Forks, you then proceeded to designate me as the babysitter for the evening and ignore me throughout the meal. Then I hear you telling my parents that you have an interview for your fucking dream job and you haven't bothered to tell me. You – "

"Oh you know why," she hisses, "you did the same thing when you were up for the promotion last year. I didn't want you stressed out or disappointed in case it didn't work out. You have enough on your plate. Don't pretend that that upset you, please. And I'm not a fucking idiot, Edward, I know something is up. This impromptu trip to Forks wasn't random and I'd like to know what's going on. I'm so sick and tired of walking on eggshells with you about everything."

"Why don't you tell me what it is that you want, Bella? Maybe if we are both honest about what we want out of this marriage – "

"Excuse me? Are you questioning our marriage? Unbelievable. I can't…"

"I'm not questioning it, but I'm tired of this bullshit. Don't come to me crying about kids when you're not willing to get off the pill and try to have one. Don't complain to my mother about not having time to be around me and your daughter when you choose to do research at the library that could be performed on your computer at home. Don't tell my sister that you're worried our relationship is based on sex when you're the one constantly making it all about sex."

"Oh so now you have a problem with too much sex. Don't. Ever. Touch. Me. Again."

"See? Always acting like a child."

"Well I'm sorry I'm acting like a child, Edward. But get used to it already. And you're the child now. We had a perfectly nice evening with our family and I tell you how upset I am about something and you do this. How fucking selfish are you?"

"I learned from the best, baby. This is how I feel. Do you want to talk about it and wake her up now or should we talk about it tomorrow?"

I pull into the driveway and almost hold my breath waiting for her to answer my question. She doesn't, and slams the door behind her before running towards the back of the house. Ilsa wakes up and I have to make sure she's ok and not frightened. She clings to me and I give her the Eskimo kisses she usually gets from her mother before she sleeps. Twenty minutes later she is breathing deeply and dead to the world, but Bella still hasn't come inside the house.

I go downstairs and turn on the television, waiting for her to come back but I hear nothing. I wonder where she is, and the fact that she only had a light jacket, with a short dress and no tights on makes me worry about how cold she must be if she is outside. Charlie always keeps a big plaid throw on the couch and I grab it before heading into the backyard to find Bella. I take the monitor with me, hoping Ilsa doesn't wake up anytime soon. I'm tired and would like to sleep, but I can't go to bed before attempting to talk to Bella. What a ridiculous fight to get into. Sometimes I just don't think, and with Bella, that can mean playing with fire.

Bella isn't in the backyard, and I hesitate before walking into the woods behind her father's house to make sure she's not out there by herself. I don't have to go far because she's sitting there, under a tree, with her head on her knees. I sit beside her and cover her legs with the throw.

"So I bought four acres of nothing but trees back here. Technically, this tree belongs to us."

She looks up at me with a "fuck you" look on her face.

"I thought we could build a small place for the summer, or just to have when we come visit our families. Charlie told me this land was for sale, I couldn't pass up a chance like that. These woods… lots of memories…"

She still won't look at me.

"You left me here once, remember?"

I remember.

"For twenty minutes, B."

"Twenty minutes, maybe. It felt like an eternity."

"I was mad at you, you lied to me."

"I was seventeen and really wanted to spend time with you, it was a tiny lie."

"I overreacted: it was just frustrating, back then. And then knowing you risked everything for an extra half hour…"

"But you left me in the motherfucking woods, Cullen."

"I know, but I realized my mistake and came back twenty minutes later, Cullen."

She almost smiles, then sighs.

"Why were you so upset tonight?"

I think before I respond. "Well, for starters I was a little nervous about telling you about my little purchase. Then your attitude all day didn't help. Finally, inviting them to dinner? You knew we were supposed to spend the day together."

"Nervous? I mean I could be annoyed that you made that decision without me, but I can't because you are my sweet boy and did something for our family. Dinner? Baby, Em and Rose are having problems and I wanted them over just to, you know, talk to Rose and have you talk to Em, and just let them have a night out, kids sleeping upstairs, no worries. Your parents weren't even gonna show up. My attitude can't be helped. I'm so scared and worried, Edward. I think about my job all day. All fucking day. What if things don't work out? I'm so scared…"

Relief washes over me knowing that she is not mad about the purchase and the plans for a house here in Forks. I want to acknowledge what she said about my sister's marriage but that's something we can discuss later.

"Scared of what? You'll find something. Baby, you are so young and you're already getting your stuff published, you have an MFA in creative writing that I spent a lot of money on. You're getting your Ph.D now at a great fucking school. People think you're the shit, and you are. I have no doubt that you'll get your dream job. You're not even thirty yet, relax. You are a decent cook, a pretty cool wife, an amazing mother, and you're fantastic in bed. I digress… my point is, it'll all work out. Have a little faith in yourself, and if you're worried about other things, tell me. I'm here, I've always been here."

Her body shifts and she is leaning on me. I place an arm around her waist and bring her even closer.

"Ok. What if… what if I don't get the job, and they stop publishing my shit and I can't write anymore? Then I don't know, I'm not teaching, or editing, or writing and I end up sitting at home doing nothing all day and all of this was a waste…"

"A waste? B, you'll never stop writing. This is a fact. As for sitting at home – is that a bad thing? You know you can sit there, hire a nanny, write all day and I would be ok with that. How bad is it to just be…"

"A mom?" She looks frightened, but also somewhat hopeful.

"Well, not where I was going with that, but yeah, that too."

"Is that what you want for me?"

"I want the world for you," I tell her.

"Right, and what if I fall into the whole stay-at-home-mom thing?"

"You don't fall into things, B. You make choices, decisions. You try hard to find a job. If you are that unbelievably unlucky – which you most definitely are not – then you get to sit in your nice apartment and watch TV, write, eat, or play with your awesome kid all day. Unfortunately, you won't be so lucky. So stop worrying."

"I know what you love about me, and if I let go of all of that, what is left? You'll be tired of – "

"You? Because you don't work? Don't write? Shit, Bella. You didn't work or write or do anything when I met you. You hadn't given birth to my child. You didn't even know how to give head. You were you. That's all I've ever wanted. Bella."

"Right," she says. She's not convinced.

"Thirteen years ago you quoted some shit to me and touched my hand and I handed my life over to you. What makes you think that I'd ever tire of you? Or that I'd give up on you? Bella you're going to have more of my kids, I haven't given up on that. You're going to be the best at what you do, I will push you until you achieve it. If you choose to be an editor and run _The New Yorker_, I'll push you until you're there. If you choose to be the most famous poet of the 21st century, I'll make you do it. Baby I'll push you until you're dean of God knows what at Columbia, I'll hold your hand, I'll do anything. If you choose to devote your life exclusively to our kids, I'll provide every comfort you have ever desired. You are not alone. I'm here."

Bella is on her knees, resting her head on my thigh, crying softly as I run my fingers through her soft hair.

"But what if I can't do all of that? You were so angry with me earlier… You basically told me I have to choose. You don't understand just how much I want. I want everything. This is my downfall. I want _everything_."

I take a deep breath and turn her face until she is look straight into my eyes.

"Stop being dramatic. I'm your husband. You get to have everything."

She nods. She gets it.

"How?" Bella sounds like the sweet young girl who used to ask me questions that had no answers. The sweet young girl I decided to devote my life to. Why is it so easy to forget that Bella is _that same_ _Bella_ sometimes?

"Because it's my job to give you everything."

"And it's my job to do the same for you. Edward, what do you want, right now?"

I think for a second. Just a second. But the answer has never changed. It has always been the same.

"You."

"Me. You have me."

"Regardless… you're all I want."

"And what else? Do you want more kids?"

"Of course." My answer comes immediately and for the first time in a while, it's completely honest.

"Me too. I mean, I'm a little scared because I don't know how that will change things, but I don't want Ilsa to be an only child, like me. I was so lonely before I met you… I always wanted siblings. She needs a brother or sister. I want more. I can do it now. I want to do it now. I have a year until I'm done with school completely and this is perfect. Or maybe it's not. In all honesty, it's not, but whatever. I think I want this badly. Last time I convinced myself I wasn't going to get pregnant, seeing Alice deal with it I freaked out, but I was just being an idiot. I'll try again, and if it doesn't happen we'll deal. I'm young, and we can spend tons of money on it, or get someone to carry our spawn or better yet, adopt, maybe. Anyway, I want you to knock me up again, except this time for God's sake don't leave right after I pop the kid out because that's not cool. And do you think my scar's going to get worse? I hate that thing so much, it's uch, not attractive and – "

I laugh and cover her mouth with my hand. Sometimes I hate her. Sometimes I think about staying at the office all night when she is in one of her nasty moods. Sometimes I want to shake her until she is sane again. But mostly, I love her. And even during those moments when I don't, the simple truth is that I'm hers. My love for her defines me, and I would be nothing without her love. Her touch is my undoing, her body is my heaven. Her smile is all I need when I wake up, before I fall asleep.

More importantly, she says she wants to get pregnant again and I can't wait. It sounds wrong, but I love it because she tries harder to make me lose my mind. As if she needs to do anything. She's crazier, hotter, and her tits are fantastic. The extra weight is perfect for just a certain amount of time and then she's my hot wife again, toned and beautiful and oh so fuckable. Always fuckable. And I check to make sure the monitor is still working before removing my hand from her mouth and bringing it down her body and under her dress to the scar she hates so much.

"Hey, at least you didn't 'ruin your vagina'."

She laughs and looks away.

"Oh God, I used to be so obsessed with that."

"Yeah, silly girl. I love you."

"I think you do," she agrees.

Her kisses make me dizzy. Her breath on my skin brings promises of more warmth, more Bella, more everything.

"So Cullen," she whispers, "these woods… lots of memories."

"Ah, yes. Jailbait up against a tree while her dad watched games in the living room. How could I forget?"

"Do me before he gets back from Billy's?"

Who am I to say no to that? And when we get caught ten minutes later, we know it's because we're not as fast as we used to be. Or maybe we just don't care so much about getting caught anymore. So we're standing there, with me still inside Bella, her legs wrapped around me, laughing so hard it hurts. Creating one more memory, ready for the next thirteen, twenty-six, thirty-nine years together. One small fuck-up at a time.


	3. No appropriate title for this one

**I would like to thank my amazing beta, Writeontime, and many thanks to Spargelkun, Kassiah, and Jadedandboring for all their help. This future shot for AoC takes place a few months after the annoyingly long epilogue. It was originally written for Ninapolitan's Smut Mondays. It includes a threesome. If you're not comfortable with that, skip this one. **

**Leave a review, or something. I'm in review withdrawal, it sucks.**

**Spargel, this one's for you.**

***I do not own Twilight or any of these characters***

Edward

"She's hot."

I look at the picture Bella is pointing to on her laptop. It's her new background.

"Yeah," I agree, "Are you into the waif look now?"

"I've always thought she's stunning."

I think about this for a second, staring at the image on the screen.

"Stunning? I'm not so sure, but she has the best nipples."

I look down to my lap where Bella's head is resting. She nods as I play with her hair.

"Hmmm... so would you do her?"

I roll my eyes and laugh.

"Kate Moss? In an alternate Bellaless universe, sure."

"So would I. Well, in an alternate Edwardless universe."

She looks at me and her smile is huge. Bella shrugs before continuing, "Or… I'd share."

"You'd share Kate with me?"

"Of course! I wouldn't do anything without you there."

"Good girl, I've taught you well. Sharing is caring."

She turns towards me and I feel her breath on my stomach. Her lips place a kiss right below my bellybutton.

"I won't, however, share _you_ with anyone."

"What's the difference?"

"I'm not sure, but I think we'll know when the time comes."

"Is Kate Moss paying us a visit anytime soon?"

Her kisses continue as her fingers hook into my boxers, trying to pull them down.

"Maybe," she whispers, "close your eyes and think about that."

I close my eyes but I don't need images of British supermodels to turn me on while I am inside Bella's mouth. She is enough. She has always been enough. But if she wants to have some fun, who am I to deny her?

***

Bella loves summer in New York. Personally, I think it gets too hot and humid, and taking public transportation can be very unpleasant. Nothing is quite as disgusting as waiting for the subway on a hot day in July or August. Bella doesn't mind, though. She puts on a dress and goes around town doing God knows what all day. This summer Bella is taking classes to make up for the term she missed at Oxford when she decided to return to New York with me. I'm glad she decided to do this, because she was driving everyone crazy complaining about having nothing to do all day for two months. Fortunately, classes end early and we are able to go out most nights. Tonight is no exception, and we are meeting for dinner at one of her favorite restaurants in the Village.

I get there before her, having taken a cab from the office, and watch as she walks up the block towards me with a big grin, a toss of her hair, and a wink. Her dress is short and white, her hair is long, and she's blowing up the bangs that she now finds extremely annoying in the summer heat.

Bella is beautiful. She grabs my fingers and kisses me, raising our arms over our heads. Very playful today. I approve. She is on her tiptoes, stretching her body and arching her back before I take her in my arms and give her a warm hug.

"Edward and Bella. It's been too long."

Victoria?

Before I can say anything, Bella's arms are open and my favorite brunette and favorite redhead are hugging each other like they are the best of friends. This isn't completely random – Victoria moved back to New York a couple of years ago after breaking up with her boyfriend in Seattle. She and Alice were always on somewhat friendly terms and we see Tori from time to time. Last time must have been Alice's wedding. Tori was sitting a table over from us and we all ended up having a pretty good time.

"Bella, is that… oh my god, congratulations!"

Tori grabs Bella's hand and pulls it closer, to get a better look at the ring.

"Thank you!"

"It's beautiful! Edward, had I known you had such great taste in jewelry…"

"Jealous, huh?" Bella jokes.

They talk about continuing education classes Victoria is taking, our engagement, plans for a wedding. Bella asks Victoria to join us for dinner and although I'm a little annoyed, I decide it might be fun. We tell the host that we are three instead of two, and twenty minutes later we are drinking to friendship, love, and 'crazy good sex', among other things. The 'crazy good sex' is Bella's contribution, after Tori teases us about acting like an old married couple.

Two hours and way too many drinks later, Bella is whispering in my ear even though Tori is in the bathroom and no one can hear what we say. Her whispers are louder than her actual voice would be, but this is typical tipsy Bella behavior.

"I love Tori. She's so much fun. I can't believe she used to scare me. I feel so bad, that James guy really hurt her. It's been like what, three years? She still isn't over him."

"Yeah, it sucks," I agree, trying to drag Bella's chair closer to me. She smells so good - like Bella, her signature perfume, and Chardonnay, and I want to get the fuck out of here because we didn't have sex last night and I wanted to be inside her an hour ago.

"You know, she was just saying how she was dating a girl. I wonder if she was hot. I wonder if Tori's a good kisser. Is she?"

My mouth works faster than my brain.

"You can always find out."

Her eyes open wide and she blushes. Raising an eyebrow, she asks if I am being serious. I tell her sure, why not?

Twenty-five minutes later we are in a cab on the way to our apartment. Bella is in my arms, talking to Victoria, who can't stop smiling and flirting with my fiancée. I can't decide whether I want to tell them I have a headache and that we should continue whatever the fuck this is some other night, or whether I want to run upstairs before them, set up the camcorder, lie down on the couch and tell them to hop onto the bed.

My cock tells me to shut up and go along with this. Many years ago it also told me to follow Bella, and I did. Look at us now. Less than a year away from getting married. Happy, together, best friends and lovers. I've learned that I must listen to my cock always. He's never led me down the wrong path. He is definitely not interested in anyone but Bella. He is in love with her, crazy about her. He knows what is good for him, and for me.

So ten minutes later we are having another drink on our small couch. Bella is sitting on my lap, facing Tori. Don't ask me what happens next, but all I know is that Tori's mouth is less than an inch away from Bella's, and my fiancée is squeezing my hand, presumably asking permission, or guidance. I squeeze it back, nudging her forward and fuck, they're kissing. Bella on her knees on the couch, Tori's hands moving up her arms, into her hair. How inappropriate would it be if I were to take off my pants right now? If I can't jerk off watching this, there is something fundamentally unfair in this world. Of course it is appropriate, and my right, as Bella's boyfriend.

I'm pretty sure a kitten dies somewhere when they stop. That's how sad I am.

Tori places a hand on Bella's shoulder. "Are you sure about this?"

Bella shrugs, nods. Then she looks back at me and I nod back, placing a small kiss on her cheek. She looks a little frightened, her cheeks very pink from the excitement and all the alcohol. She's just shy. I want to tell her not to do anything if she is unsure, but I know she can handle this and stop when she wants to stop.

"You don't get to touch Edward."

Tori laughs and holds up her hands. "Edward can sit back and watch, for all I care. You call the shots."

Less than a minute later they are kissing again. This time, they are on the bed. I never thought this day would come. For months we joked about it, but I truly didn't believe this would ever happen. And with Tori of all people. Unreal. Tori and Bella. Bella's tongue is in another woman's mouth. Her hands are on Tori's sides. They both lie down on the bed and continue kissing, I can tell their moans apart. I'm so hard it hurts. I bite down on my knuckles, watching them. Bella's eyes open a few times, looking at me, and she smiles when Tori starts kissing her neck. She then motions me to join them on the bed. Tori's mouth is on Bella's throat, chest, down her arm, and Bella kisses me, her hand finding my hard on, rubbing it slowly. She always feels so incredibly good. For a second I want Victoria to disappear because I want Bella all to myself, but curiosity and the knowledge that this is what Bella wants stop me from being selfish. She is back to kissing Tori while she takes my cock out of my pants, and I'm then left there, more or less forgotten, as the girls kiss and touch each other. I can't complain, because I have my hand and the best visual any man can ask for.

Off comes a shirt, and a dress. One bra. Seems like Tori was never wearing one. They are talking throughout, Tori asking Bella if she is ok, if she wants this, or that. And Bella wants it all, and the way her back arches off the bed when Tori takes her nipples into her mouth drives me crazy. I want to slide under her and fuck her as she continues to kiss Tori, but I decide to wait, watching as Tori plays with her right nipple. I take Bella's other nipple, squeezing, rubbing, licking. Her sounds are beautiful, her hands in our hair. I am still sucking on her tits, rubbing myself against the bed when I see where Tori is, and I stop.

Because this is something I must watch.

Carefully.

Long, wild red hair between Bella's legs. Tori and I each take a leg and spread her wider, and Bella cries out when Tori's tongue touches her, completely letting go, begging for more, grinding herself against Tori's face, kissing me over and over again, and finally grabbing my cock, stroking me until I have to stop her before I come all over her chest and stomach.

She'd probably like that.

Victoria is thorough. Fingers, lips, tongue. All I can hear from Bella is 'yesyesyesyesyesyes', and just when I'm completely convinced that things can't get hotter, Bella's fingers are in Tori's hair, pushing Tori down onto her, and she looks at me and whispers, "her tongue is inside me."

Tori's tongue is inside Bella. Bella is coming. My brain shuts down. I start running my hand up and down my cock, imagining Bella covered in me. Imagining Tori licking it off Bella. I tell myself to come now, Bella just did, but Bella has other ideas, and I'm inside her mouth, fucking it like she sometimes begs me too, and Tori is watching us, one hand between her legs, and the other on her right tit. Bella's mouth is so warm, she moans when I grab her hair roughly and I'm close, so close. But she stops, sits back, and takes a deep breath. I consider forcing her back down until I come, because she likes that, and she's so good, and if I come now it's going to hit her in the face.

I'm just trying to be considerate.

"Tori, wanna help?"

What?

Please Jesus, tell me I'm not losing my mind. Tell me I'm not hearing things. Tell me my fiancée is the most wonderful, giving, selfless person in the world.

"Sure," Tori smiles.

My heart is about to explode in my chest. Do I say no? Would anyone say no? Bella tells me to lie down, but I tell them to get on their knees. They comply. I stand up, and the last fantasy that has been plaguing me since I watched that porno at age 16 is finally fulfilled.

Two sets of lips kissing my cock.

Two warm, soft tongues licking me.

One hand gripping soft, straight hair, the other in a mess of curls.

Familiar lips around my head.

Less familiar lips around my head.

More licks and kisses, then I am down someone's throat. I know who it is, I can't believe this is happening. I open my eyes to make sure, and Bella smiles and bites my inner thigh. I almost can't believe she is ok with this.

"Mmmhmmm, you've always been a mouthful. Am I right, Bella?"

"Always," Bella breathes. I swear my cock points at her and begs for the owner of that sweet, melodious voice to take him into her mouth again. She does, it's heaven, and when Tori's tongue is on my balls I die, and explode down Bella's throat, my fingers rough in their hair, digging into their scalps.

I collapse onto the bed and Bella lies on top of me. For a second I'm worried that she is upset or angry, but she just smiles as she brings her mouth close to my ear.

"It wouldn't be fair to have you just watch. Did you like that?"

"Take a guess, B."

"You liked it," she whispers.

"So much, baby."

"Now you get to tell me what to do…"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, to Tori."

I can think of plenty of things for you to do. For instance, your obsession with Kate's nipples makes me believe that you would really enjoy tasting Victoria's. Also, if it's not too weird, maybe kiss her once, or lick her? Tell me if you enjoy going down on a girl, let me see you between a girl's legs, just for a second. It's really not too much to ask. And maybe while you are kissing her just lie on your side and let me fuck you from behind because that would be really, really hot.

I look over at Tori, who is still in her jeans, topless, lying on the other end of the bed.

"So how's this going to work?" I ask.

Bella looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "You're asking this _now_?"

The girls laugh and I notice Bella is trying to cover herself with her arm. I stop her.

"Don't… Shit, this is awkward. I'm not going to tell you guys what to do. Just go with it…"

"Edward," Victoria starts, "it could be fun. Tell Bella what you wanna see. I'm down for just about anything."

I think for a second.

"Maybe we should set some rules? Boundaries?"

Bella shakes her head and sits up. "There is just one rule, I stated it at the beginning."

"Fair enough," Tori agrees.

I take a deep breath before speaking.

"Tori, take off your jeans."

I notice that I'm still hanging out of my own grey pants and consider taking them off completely but decide to keep them on for now. Focus on Bella and Tori. Last time you did good things happened, remember? It was just five minutes ago.

Bella rolls off of me but before she can get too far I pull her close and whisper in her ear.

"B, you didn't have to set any rules, you know that, right? I'd never touch her, this is all about you. Don't worry."

"Maybe I shouldn't be touching her either, then. Double standards and all…"

"Do you want to touch her?"

She hesitates for a second, but says yes.

"So touch her. Now. Play with her nipples. Look, they're different than yours. Darker, bigger. I want you to touch them."

Bella does what she is told and I'm instantly hard. This is something I've fantasized about. A lot. Especially these past couple of months, ever since she first mentioned being curious about other women. Her eyes are wide open and she looks so eager. Eager to please? Eager for more? She is also hesitant at first, until Tori guides her with her own hands, and I move closer, kneeling behind Bella and kissing her neck before telling her to taste them.

And she does. I watch over her shoulder, then move to her side and I'm fixated at the sight of Bella's tongue against Tori's nipple. Whatever she's doing is good, because Victoria seems to like it, and I'm fascinated as I watch Bella's hands go up and down Victoria's body.

"Kiss her."

And they kiss, rubbing up against each other. I can't help but get up to find my camera, taking a picture of their tits touching, and then another one of Bella's fingers on Tori's belly. I'm so hard. I want Bella now. I want Tori to watch. I want to see Tori come as she watches. A plan forms in my head and I immediately grab Bella's hand and place it between Tori's legs.

"Touch her, B. Tell me how it feels."

"Can I touch you too?"

"Focus on Tori for now. And stay wet for me because this isn't over until I fuck you."

Her eyes are on fire, my fingers find her clit and fuck she's wet. Warm. Perfect. Mine. I bring my hand to my mouth and taste her, and wonder, like I do all the fucking time, if I will ever get enough. No. Four years and I want her just like I did that first day in her father's house. She is perfect, she is special, she is my entire world, and she is touching another woman's clitoris right now and I think I'm going to come.

Bella has her bottom lip between her teeth, old habit that still makes an appearance from time to time. She is staring down between Tori's legs so intently, her brain clearly on overdrive. Tori's hand joins hers, and they rub together, low moans coming from Tori that clearly excite Bella. I know this because I notice that her touch is less tentative, and her fingers explore, up and down. She gasps when she inserts a finger inside Tori. In and out and Jesus, I have never seen anything so fucking hot.

"Another one," I whisper into Bella's ear. She nods and Tori starts to move her hips against her fingers.

I am about to tell Bella to go down on her, but as always, I'm one step behind, and there she is, and fuck where is my camera?

"Bella, you're a natural. That feels really good."

Tori looks insanely hot like that, I watch her hands on her tits, down her stomach until she is touching herself. I can tell she is close, and my eyes move to Bella's face, her back, her round, phenomenal ass, and I don't even bother taking off my pants before moving behind her and entering her. She squeals and I grab her hips, watching Tori's reactions to whatever it is Bella is doing. I hold her hair and move a little to get a better view, and see her fingers inside Tori, her mouth on Tori, and I'm so excited that I fuck her hard, watching Tori come and Bella lose herself. Her upper body goes limp, Tori plays with her hair as I continue moving inside her, gripping her hips and ass so tight that she is whimpering. Bella feels incredible like this, and I'm so close. I touch her a little to drive her crazy, and use those same fingers to press against her ass because I know she loves this, and Bella's gone. It feels fantastic, she feels fantastic as she comes. Tori's face is a mixture of excitement and lust, and I thrust harder than before, reminding myself to thank her for this later.

Pulling Bella up by her hair I bring her close to me, and finally it's the sound she makes once I start kissing her neck that makes me come. And come.

And I die.

Again.

I should have considered drafting a will the minute Bella said "girls are hot."

Three minutes later I have Bella in my arms, watching Tori as she looks for her top and jeans.

"Well, that was… unexpected. Quite a show you put on there, Edward. I see you haven't aged much."

"Why thank you. I think the show you put on was way more exciting, but that's just my opinion."

Bella chuckles and I kiss the top of her head, holding her tighter against me. Tori finds her clothes and is shaking her head as she puts them on.

"I knew you were a feisty one when I met you in Seattle, but wow, Bella. You surprised me."

"I think I surprised myself," Bella laughs. "That was fun."

"It was. Nice fingers you've got there. Have you been using them on Edward? He likes that. Anyway, it's been swell guys, but I have to run. I'll see you around. Tell Alice I said hello. Oh… no don't get up."

She quietly shuts the door behind her and Bella and I erupt into laughter, before she starts describing everything to me.

"So ok, that was interesting. But I prefer the penis. Definitely. It's no fun without, like I'd get bored with just another girl. And I'm not sure I like how she tasted. I taste so different, I mean, you've made me taste myself a ton of times and sometimes it's a little different, but Tori was SO different. Meh, not sure how I felt about that. But ok, I really liked how she felt. Like when I licked her, it was so soft. I liked that. And wow, putting my fingers inside her… it was like crazy warm in there. It felt sorta gooey at first but it was also kinda hot, especially when she came. Wow. I can't believe I did that, do you? And oh my god, her nipples. Now I get it. Girl nipples are amazing. I'd like more of that. And breasts. I like them too. Mine aren't big enough. Do you ever wish they were? I mean mine are definitely perkier but hers are bigger. They felt nice."

She stops and takes a deep breath. I love her so much.

"I don't wish they were bigger. We have discussed this a million times. And you know you're hot, so stop fishing for compliments. Girl nipples are amazing, aren't they? I'm so fond of yours. And you told me a lot about how Tori felt but didn't tell me how you felt when she was doing those things to you."

"Good."

"Just good?"

She turns and takes a strand of my hair, twirling it once around her finger and tugging at it for a second.

"Well yeah, nothing ever compares to you."

I kiss her forehead and finally take off my pants. We lie in bed and I listen to her talk about her day, Tori, how much she used to hate Tori, nipples, Kate Moss, and our upcoming trip to Forks. We haven't been back since we got engaged and I wonder if Charlie will let us stay in the same room this time. My mind wanders to the day when I climbed the fucking tree which Charlie subsequently tried to cut down. Back then if you had told me this would be my life now, I would have laughed, never believing that dreams can truly come true like this. But they do. With Bella, they always do.


	4. One More Time

**This final FGB auction piece is for 4theluvofMary (Stephie, creampuffsteph… you have too many names). I'd like to thank her for her very pervy brain, and MsKathy for financing this debauchery.**

**I definitely do not own Twilight, but this Edward and Bella are mine. **

"Edward, wake up."

No, I want to go back to sleep. I think I'll keep my eyes closed until you give up.

"Ugh, do you really think I don't know when you're faking it?" She whines.

No, I know you know. I just want you to be nice enough to go away until I'm ready to get up.

"Your mother made you waffles and they're yummy and warm. Come on, let's go downstairs," she whispers into my ear. It feels nice. Her lips are on my skin and I instinctively move my head towards her.

"Waffles, huh?" I ask, cracking open an eye.

"Delicious waffles," she smiles, placing her hand on my chest.

I open my other eye and stretch my arms over my head. Her hand moves lower, but not low enough, so I take it and place it where it needs to stay at all times. She touches me, soft fingertips and warm palm, and I turn my face to find her lips, her cheeks, anything I can have.

"We should get going, Edward. It's going to take us a while to get to Port Angeles and back. We've got a lot to do this afternoon. Let's take a quick shower and leave," she says. But her hand is still on me, and I want her to cover me and whisper familiar words and feel good with me, so I kiss her to shut her up.

"No, this first. Then waffles. Then I'll take a shower," I try to negotiate.

Her hand moves faster and her smile is big; she laughs and shakes her head. "There are no waffles, and there is no 'this' right now. Move it. Shower, baby. _Now_."

No waffles? This is bullshit. She's going to pay for that one, I'm not letting her get away. I cover her hand with mine and stop her from unwrapping the fingers that are holding onto me so tightly. She frowns and protests, but gives in quickly. Then I make the mistake of trusting her and remove my hand, bringing it to her face. Immediately, she's gone. Evil.

"I mean it. Be good, Edward. Rosalie is in the next room, my mother and Alice are downstairs with your parents. They've been here for hours to help us out, and we're still in bed. It's rude! Come on, shower. I'll even join you, it'll make things quicker."

"Bella... five more minutes. You lied about waffles, I get five more minutes," I insist.

"Fine. Five minutes," she agrees, holding up five fingers and giving me a smile.

I close my eyes, reaching out to feel Bella, but she's gone. I frown, wondering where she went, and I really don't like what I hear a minute later. She's started her shower without me. This entire week of hell has turned her into a mean version of the petulant, bratty sixteen-year-old I met five years ago. I don't really blame her since she's been under a lot of stress. She was dealing with a number of last-minute things that needed to get done, packing, and my sister and mother calling her every ten minutes with more questions and suggestions... I'm surprised she even boarded the plane to Washington with me two days ago. But as annoying as she's been lately, not once has she said the words I'm always half-expecting to hear: "I'm doing this for you" or "I don't want this anyway." I'm not sure why I have this irrational fear of Bella snapping at me and telling me this is a stupid idea, because even when she complains all day, when she climbs on top of me at night her voice is happy and she tells me about everything she did and how "awesome" it's all going to be. How can I be mad at her?

I finally get out of my old bed and walk to the bathroom, discarding my boxers on the floor before I enter the shower. I wonder if I can get her to play a little before she decides it's time to get going. We'll just have to see. Normally, I can tell within five seconds just how easy or difficult it's going to be to convince her. Bella's obsession with being on time and not making anyone wait can be a big problem in the morning. It's the only time I'll ever get a "no" from her. It's also my favorite time of the day to fool around. I open the shower door and smile to myself.

Ah, Bella. Always up to no good. Nine out of ten times, she'll be in the shower and her hand just makes its way between her legs and she rubs a little, smiles, continues if she has enough time, or stops and comes to me after she's done. Right now she's grinding herself against her hand, her eyes closed, looking so serious and determined.

"Bella, don't pout. Come here," I tell her. Her eyes open and she smiles. Her cheeks are pink, and I take a step towards her and place my hands on either side of her head. I bring my mouth down to hers, and she bites my bottom lip, but when I try to replace her hand with my own, she doesn't let me.

"Just watch."

Her eyes are big and they're staring into mine. I place my forehead against hers and feel her breath hit my face. Her sounds are beautiful and her nipples are hard. I watch her face, the drops of water that fall from the ends of her hair and make their way down her body, her hand moving so fast, her hips. I do nothing but watch Bella until she cries out and shakes, then I hold her to me until her breathing slows down. Her lips on my chest thank me for something, I'm not sure what. I kiss her back, loving the feeling of her wet hair against my mouth. She looks up and my knees go weak, because she is stunning, because she loves me so much. Bella rests her head on my chest, putting her arms around me and closing her eyes. I close mine too until I feel her mouth again on my shoulders, wet, sweet, Bella.

"I love being here with you," she tells me.

"Yeah?" I ask, rubbing her back.

"Yeah, so many memories. Remember when you told me how you loved every part of me? I was so shy, I didn't want to take my clothes off in front of you."

I think back to our first summer together. Bella on her knees. One careless second. The expression on her face.

"B, that's one day I'll never forget," I laugh.

She laughs too, dropping her arms from around my waist. She reaches for the shampoo but I stop her by grabbing her hand.

"What? We have to hurry," she tells me.

"Then hurry," I say, pointing to my cock.

I expect her to roll her eyes and reach for the shampoo with her free hand, but she doesn't. Instead, she's on her knees, kissing me, up and down, her lips worshiping me like I deserve it, and in moments like this one I know I do, because that's exactly what her mouth tells me. I reach down and take her face in my hands, feeling the softness of her skin as she looks into my eyes. Her lashes are wet and long, her tongue is pink and it licks me, and if she doesn't take me into her mouth I'm going to have to make her.

Bella's tongue disappears and I feel myself against her cheek, she's teasing me and being dirty, her fingers touching me where I love to be touched. Before I can force myself into her mouth her tongue is back, one small lick, and she giggles.

"Yum," she says, "fuck waffles." And I'm in, and it's not gentle, and she's not quiet. Every time I open my eyes she's looking up at me, and my hands are in her hair, petting her and pulling the wet strands, and I'm telling her she's a good girl, and she knows me so well, because she pulls me out at the perfect moment, and this time it's no accident.

XxXxX

"Uch. Fucking traffic. We're not making it back in time to – "

"Bella, who cares?" I interrupt her rant, "let them deal with everything. I'd rather not go back today."

"Oh, you think I want to go back? I have everything I want. My dress is sick, you're going to look amazing, I have picked out everything, down to the brand of olive oil I prefer for the bruschetta, the weather's supposed to be fine, and if not, we have a gigantic room your mother had built just in case, and no matter what I fucking do, Alice's kid is going to look dirty because her parents can't control her. I don't care anymore, I just don't. What the fuck are they doing anyway? You hired those decorators, do I have to be there? I left very detailed diagrams and drawings of what I want, and if they fuck it up, I'll fuck them up. Your dad won't let them fuck it up. I left specific instructions for everything just in case I decide to run away with you tonight and show up twenty minutes before everything starts tomorrow. Let's run away, please?"

Bella rests her head on my shoulder, hugging my arm tightly.

"We can run away if you'd like. You canceled the dinner thing, so why not? We'll get back just in time to watch everyone freak out because the guests are there but we're not," I laugh.

"I'm so glad your mom agreed to cancel dinner. I'd die if I had to do that tonight. Fucking up the marriage license turned out great. Perfect excuse."

I nod. "Yeah, except no rehearsal dinner. We don't get to rehearse."

"Rehearse what? Who cares? It's all so silly. We'll just go with the flow tomorrow. As long as the lady you spoke with at the Auditor's Office managed to take care of the license and Pastor Weber shows up, we're good. No one will notice small imperfections. I'm going to look hot, and you're going to look so fuckable that we'll blind them with our combined beauty and awesomeness." Bella stops to take a deep breath before she starts laughing and bites down on my shoulder. "God, I love you, Edward," she tells me.

"I know, sweetheart," I whisper. She doesn't let go of my arm until we pull up to a familiar building. She squeezes it, squealing in delight. We walk past this building every time we're in Port Angeles. She reveals new details of what she thought and felt as we drove to this building every morning the summer we met. I listen and love her more, always telling her I remember the exact moment I fell in love with her. She brushes her fingers against mine like she did that day, years ago, and I wonder how long this can last. Tomorrow, we'll promise that it will last forever. Maybe it will, and maybe it won't, but no matter how it turns out, neither of us will ever be able to deny that we had this. The love, the friendship, the desire, the trust. Her smiles and laughter and her hand in mine.

"Hey, snap out of it. You have that stupid smile on your face. We're here. It's Friday and they close super early so let's do this. Make me yours, Cullen. I've been waiting long enough," she laughs.

"_You've_ been waiting? I've been trying to tie you to me for five years. Once I got a taste of you, I wasn't planning on letting you go," I tell her, pinching her nose before getting out of the car.

"Tie me to you? Edward, let's be real. I wasn't going anywhere. God, I gave it up what, a week after I met you? Scandalous. I couldn't even _pretend_ that I wasn't obsessed with your cock."

"More like three weeks, which means it took practically forever for to you to seduce me, Swan," I tease.

"I know! You were so needy and in touch with your feelings, wanting to deflower me under the perfect conditions, with angels serenading us and fireworks going off the second you broke my hymen. Silly boy... Making me wait three whole weeks," she sighs.

I look at Bella, comparing the woman in front of me to the girl I met at Charlie's and kissed in my car less than a week later. She's wearing a white dress, which she put on earlier, joking that it was the perfect thing to pick up a marriage license in. Her ass is a little rounder and her hips are a little wider, but in the best way. She has braided her hair and thank God she didn't have two long braids like this when she was sixteen, because I probably would have never touched her. While we are waiting to see the woman I spoke to on the phone, I yank one braid, and she sticks her tongue out at me. One of the people working in the office smiles at us, and Bella blushes, turning her face into my chest after giving a small smile back. She's shy and bold, immature and incredibly wise, sweet but mostly not so sweet. Once we take care of the license and apologize for screwing up something so simple, Bella suggests paying a visit to Peter, my old colleague and her old boss for the summer.

"Why is it so quiet? It's so early," she points out.

"Yeah, strange," I say, looking around. There's no one here.

"Let's stop by his office just in case," Bella suggests. We walk towards Peter's office, at least where his office used to be, and Bella jumps and claps when she sees her old cubicle, amazed that it's still there.

"What do you expect, B? It's the government. They don't have the money to buy new cubicles every other year," I tell her.

She shrugs, walking ahead of me until she notices someone sitting in an office. I follow her and listen to her conversation with a young guy, probably an intern or fresh out of law school. He tells us that the Fourth of July picnic was pushed back this year, and that's where all the employees are. Bella, who is normally nosy enough to ask a stranger why he's not at the picnic with everyone else, simply thanks him and says goodbye.

We stop by my old office but don't go in, because it feels wrong to just walk into a stranger's office. I point out the new fax machine and printer, and Bella suddenly becomes very excited.

"The supply room!" She almost shouts.

"What about it?" I ask.

"I just want to see it," she says, dragging me behind her.

We walk in, and she quickly locks the door behind us.

"B, wha – "

"Mr. Cullen, I wanted to ask you something. You're always acting so strange in the car. It's like one minute you're talking to me, then you ignore me and look away. You know, your mood swings are kinda giving me whiplash. Don't you like me?"

My mouth drops open and it takes me a second to figure out what she's doing. Bella starts to play with the end of a braid, biting on her lip and looking down at the floor. When I don't respond, she looks up, her eyes rounder than ever, and speaks.

"Mr. Cullen?"

"I told you to call me Edward, Bella," I tell her in a stern voice.

"Alright, Edward… Could you please answer my question?"

"Well, Bella. I think I'm finding it difficult to have you around all the time," I explain.

"Did I do something wrong?" Bella asks, her chin quivering and her eyes downcast.

"Well, you wear these short skirts and mention poems you probably don't even understand. You make me feel guilty for wanting someone so young. How old are you Bella? Eighteen? You're far too young for me," I smile.

"Mr. Cu- Edward, I'm…I'm sixteen. Didn't Charlie tell you?"

I take a step closer to her, making her back up against the wall.

"Sixteen, Bella? What am I supposed to do with a little girl like you?" I ask. She stifles a giggle, and I try not to laugh myself. She looks up and grins, but quickly goes back to playing young Bella, or some cracked-out version of her.

"You're supposed to let me touch you, Edward," she whispers.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," I say, inching closer to her until I feel her nipples through her dress against my chest.

"Why not? You smell so nice, and your voice makes me dizzy, and your fingers…"

She takes my hand and looks at my fingers.

"What about my fingers, Bella?" I ask, bringing them to her lips. She's breathing hard. She looks so small right now against the wall; I'm towering over her.

"Your fingers make me think really, really dirty things. And I…" I brush my finger against her lips, back and forth, watching her eyes follow it. It's driving her crazy.

"And you what, Bella?"

"I get really wet, Edward," she manages to say.

I can't help the way I press my body against hers. Bella is excited. Very excited. I pull on a braid and she makes a strange sound, much like a whimper. I continue to touch her lips with my finger and push up against her again. She immediately takes my finger into her mouth and sucks on it, her hands pulling me closer.

"Do you feel that Bella? Do you know what that is?" I ask, trying again to keep a straight face. I'm insanely hard and I know she's trying to feel more of me.

"Yes, I think I know," she whispers.

"Have you touched one before, Bella?" I ask. This time she can't help the smile that takes over her face.

"Never, Edward," she replies, and I can hear the laughter in her voice.

"What do you want from me, little girl?"

"Teach me, please?" She smiles sweetly. It melts my heart. I'm transported back in time, and memories of first kisses and touches come rushing back. I run my hands up her arms and place them around her throat. I kiss her like it's the very first time, and she slips and tells me she loves me. I bring my mouth to her ear and tell her I love her too, but she covers my mouth with her hand.

"Edward, will you show me?"

"Show you what, Bella?"

She points to my crotch. "_That_. I want to see that."

I smile against her neck and bite down on it until she pushes me away, mouthing '_What the fuck_?', and I remember what tomorrow is, annoyed that I can't suck and bite on the skin I adore. She'll kill me.

"You want to see my cock, Bella?"

She nods.

"You can take a look," I tell her, bringing her hands to the buttons of my jeans.

She's biting that lip again, and I laugh. She frowns, and I stop. Her fingers are intentionally clumsy; she concentrates on what she's doing and gasps when she finally has me in her hands.

"Is… is it supposed to be this hard?"

I nod.

"Is…is it s-supposed to be this big?" Bella is giggling again. I roll my eyes at her and she smiles. "_I_ think it's big," she insists.

"What do you know? You've never seen one before."

"It's so… warm," she says, running her hands up and down. "It feels nice." She takes some wetness from the tip and plays with the head. She doesn't take her eyes off of it.

"You have such a pretty little mouth, Bella. Would you like to taste it?"

"May I?" She asks.

"Of course, just be gentle, sweetheart." Bella nods. She licks me and strokes and forgets the game we're playing because she's so good. Her tongue is magic and I can't stay quiet, and I want to reach for my phone and take a picture right now because Bella at sixteen was wonderful, but Bella at twenty-one is perfection.

She looks up and stops. "Am I doing a good job, Edward?"

Pushing her head back down and wrapping her braids around my hands I nod. "You're such a sweet girl, Bella. You're doing an excellent job. You're a good girl, aren't you? You won't tell anyone about this."

She shakes her head "no" and takes me deeper.

"Shit. Yeah, you're way too young to have my cock in your mouth. But you like it, don't you, Bella?"

She nods and laughs, almost choking, and I lose it too. Bella kisses me once, and stands up, still touching, getting me closer, driving me crazy.

"Edward?" Her voice is soft again, timid.

"Yes?"

"Kiss me?"

I lift her up and set her down on a cabinet, bringing her face down to mine, kissing her like we used to kiss when we first met, wondering why we don't do this as much anymore. Her lips, her mouth, her delicious tongue. Teeth and skin and her hands in my hair. Her face against mine, her blush, her eyes so close up. I want to spend days just kissing her, rendering her breathless, feeling her lips on my forehead and jaw, rubbing my nose against hers. Silly things, things you'd never think you'd miss.

She pulls me closer by my t-shirt and whispers. "I've missed you, I know you're here and you never left, and you're just as wonderful, but…"

"Shhh, I know, B."

"I… want more time with you… we used to spend every second together… I know it was only the first few months until you left, but just kiss me. My heart beats so fast when you kiss me like this, like it's going to explode. Fall in love with me again. I'm so in love with you. You have no idea, if I don't show it…"

"You do, Bella. And I've never stopped falling in love with you. I live for you. Nothing else excites me, nothing else exists. I'm so happy."

She kisses me again. This time it's more aggressive. God, her mouth. Her hands. I pull her dress down and her nipples make my mouth water. I touch them and push her tits together, she moans and pulls her mouth away from mine.

"We can kiss later…"

I smile, then I run my tongue between her breasts, grab them a little too roughly, suck, lick, bite, and her hands guide my head, back and forth, until she pushes me away, leaving me panting and hard and desperate.

"Edward," she voice is sweet and innocent, "can you touch me like I touched you? No one… no one has touched me there before…"

And I guess we're playing again…

"What do you want, Bella? My hands or my mouth?"

"Both… I want everything. What if I never see you again once the summer is over?" She smiles.

"You're right, better make this good," I smirk.

I push her dress up and pull down her thong, surprised she's wearing a thong because she never wears them. She shrugs and takes it from me, spreading her legs and moving a little closer.

"Bella, quick lesson. This is your clitoris," I say, rubbing my finger over it. Pink, perfect, silk. Wet. I'm addicted. She makes short, desperate sounds and moves against my finger.

"It's absolutely the most delicious part of you. I'm going to lick it now, is that ok?" I ask her, and the series of yes's she whispers makes me harder. Love doing this to Bella. Love the way she reacts. Love how she loses control and takes, takes, takes. At home she'll just settle herself over my face when she wants it, rocking over me, no words spoken. She knows I'll never deny her. I know nothing else is better. Right now I look up and watch her face, touch her chin, and wait for her to open her eyes. She looks at me and smiles, smoothes my hair away from my face. I bring my mouth away after kissing her clit one more time, and touch her with my finger again.

"Bella, I'm going to put my finger inside you. This is where I'm – ". Before I can finish, Bella starts laughing uncontrollably.

"What?"

She shakes her head, steadying herself by placing her hand on my shoulder.

"It's so not like the first time you did that!" She tells me. "Oh my God, Edward… I'm sorry, it's just…"

It's infectious. I'm laughing right along with her. She wipes the tears from her eyes and I help her down. Her tits are still hanging out her dress and this makes me laugh harder, and Bella smacks me in the chest, before taking my hands and covering her breasts with them.

"Let's save the Lolita roleplay for when I'm actually old," she tells me. "Game over, because I'm not pretending to be a virgin. That was no fun for me. Cullen, I want you to fuck me. You get to choose how. Bend me over that thing there, or fuck me up against the wall. Maybe you want me to ride you, I don't care. Fuck me, because you're all I've ever had and all I'm ever gonna have and I want to scream, because that poor kid is so bored all alone in the office that we can give him something to tell his friends when he goes out tonight. I can keep talking forever if you don't shut me up. I want – "

I push her against the wall, then turn her around, so that she's facing it.

"You want me to fuck you hard like I did against my car that summer? The first time I actually let go and fucked your brains out? You were screaming so loud, shaking in my arms. Is that what you want right now?" I ask, kissing and licking the back of her neck. So sweet. "Bella, the second I saw you I knew just how I'd fuck you. I was obsessed with you. I wanted your tits and pussy and ass." She turns her head and her eyes are desperate. I'm desperate. I grab her hips and pull them back, make her spread her legs wider. I hold my cock in my hand and rub it up and down between her cheeks. She says my name and I'm inside her. There is no description for how she feels. If I've described it before, I lied. My mind goes blank, and I just move inside Bella. She wants more, so I grab her tighter. She begs, and I hold her hands above her head and make her beg some more. Fast, hard, harder and harder until she is barely standing up, and when she comes I simply hold her against me and follow her. My kisses cover her shoulders. I can't stop, I don't want to. She leans far back and kisses my cheek. I'm so lost in her. My chest aches.

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?"

"You don't mind that I'm staying at Charlie's tonight, right?" She asks. I'm confused by her question.

"Why would you do that?"

"Everyone says we shouldn't spend the night together, you know, before the wedding?" She turns to face me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Oh."

"Yeah, it's like, I don't even know… But your mom and Rose suggested it."

I kiss her mouth and pull up the top of her dress. She pulls down the skirt, and helps me with my pants.

"That's fine, B. Let's just get out of here now, before we get caught."

I'm not too thrilled about spending the night apart. I'm used to her, and it makes me cranky when I wake up in the middle of the night and she isn't there. But if this is what she wants, that's fine. She can hang out with her dad, sleep in her old bed, and tomorrow she'll be back. Am I nervous? I think so, but I also know that there is no reason for me to be nervous. We have been living together for four years now; she has been my entire life for five. I watch her sleep on our way back to Forks, and then I watch her run around with our mothers and Alice and Rose back at the house. I watch her try to discipline Lily and I watch her play with my tiny nephew when his mother is busy bossing everyone around. I'm watching her when I feel my father's hand on my shoulder, knowing he's watching her too. She is yelling at my sister and manages to shut her up, which makes my father laugh before he squeezes my shoulder and walks away. I watch her get out of my car and walk into her father's home, turning around to blow me a kiss before she disappears. Charlie waves, and his smile is a little sad, but his eyes are happy. I wave back and drive home, where my mother is waiting for me with advice and questions and lots of tears. My father pours her a drink and takes her upstairs. At around midnight, my phone vibrates and I read three words that never fail to make me smile.

_Come to me._

And for the last time in my life, I climb that fucking tree.

**WriteOnTime is my lovely beta, and my posse is amazing.**

**Thank you Spanglemaker9 for your excellent suggestion. **

**Say goodbye to these two and let me know what you think? Thanks again for reading. You guys are the best.**

**(I started a new story, go check it out if you're interested)**


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